Category Archives: old times

Old entry : How you define love?

How you define love? People been asking me again and again. In the mist of ‘wedding fever’ where friends and acquaintances jump into marriage wagon like it a 4×400 runs, this question keeps popping up around me. Since I am the eligible one among them (padahal ramai lagi), they been having this impression that I do not know how to define love and to read signal. Weih aku tau lah! I’ve been in love before tau! Maybe my sensory antenna a bit rusty sebab out of practice kot. Itu possible.

Let me gave you my two-cents on this topic. I try be as delicate as I can with my word to avoid hurting any parties. *grin*

How do I define love? Herm. Love is universal but if we are talking about love between a man an a woman. I would quote this “dari mata turun ke hati”.Love will later built on similarity. If both party love each other and moving towards similar goals usually they will stick together and eventually end up together. I’ve seen this happen to people around me. After a few years they tend to go separate ways because they are not heading to similar goal. But then, love also unique. People from separate world could end up together. People from different place living in different continent might end up together. A twist of fate. Because of their love so strong they defy all the differences between them. Love is acceptance.

Have you been in love? Soalan ape nie. Isk. Well believe it or not, if you plus,minus,darab bahagi,campurkan dengan puppylove square root kan dengan true love, devide dengan love at first sight…erm.. I have been in love. I don’t know about the other person but I truly believe what I felt was love. It’s scare me damn much. But it is love, what I felt, what i think about, what I imagine, what i experience…it’s all love. It makes me wanted to always catch his glimpse, even for a second , to always know what he’s up to, to know his feeling, teaches me that absent really make the heart grew fonder. Ha-ha..see I told ya..I knew it. For all my life that’s is the one time I really felt it.

Have you been out of love? Of course I have. Do you hate him? At the beginning…yes. I have been going the full break off cycle. First, blaming phase, I blame him and later on I start blaming myself. The come the second phase, obsession phase. Ha-ha not as bad as it sound. I wanted to be more and much better than him. Just to let him know what he’s missing. Gosh…that was dumb! Then the third phase, acceptance, learn to let go and accept that you guys have crosses path at a wrong time. Perhaps later your path might cross again and you can started over. As anything, acquaintance, then friends or anything else. How long. Well I guess it’s different for everyone. I have been taking more than I think I should take.*wink*.

Do you know how to read sign? Ha- what sort of sign? I guess I know just don’t send out mix signal. I usually get confuse. Better be straight to the point.

Do you believe in second chances? Absolutely yes. I know! I do. so what?

Do you hate your past love? This is bull. Of cause I don’t. They teaches me a lot. Please refer to above statement.

Do you believe this statement ” if you love a person, just let him/her go, if he/she doesn’t come back, it means you are never meant to be, if he/she does, it forever yours to keep”

Herm…I do (when I was drunk in romanticism), but then I don’t anymore. It just a trick to make you wait for something that totally unsure. In a movie yes, in really life, like right now…herm…i don’t believe it anymore but if it do happen…to anyone…well that’s just magical!

Ok. So do I answer all your questions? (to all that been asking me over and over again). Any more questions? Tiada siaran ulangan untuk soalan -soalan diatas. Penat!


Old entry : Hand clasped in a dark brown wool mitten.


I walked to class in a bleakly wet day today. This is the most significant temperature drop I have experienced so far. Being the newbie, my lips and nose are almost numb as I reach the bus stop. And my nostril froze causing a very agonizing breathing experience ever. A-ha-ha…that’s is just too much. Blatantly theatrical as ever. Nah…last two sentences are just my random imagination nitwit.

Having a typical Monday blues, I almost have to drag myself to class. Plus I have to adjust my head a bit today as this is the first Molecular Biology class that I have to not only attend and participate but also to tried as hard as I can to stomach all those foreign terminology that seem very intriguing to know but sure are hard to remember. And the exam.*migraine*Luckily it was designed for amateur like me. Specifically catered for computer science scientist as how the lecturer nicely put it.

I have a rather unlucky class timetable for Monday. As everyone start to make the first steps we have to speed up.4 different classes that arranged one after the other with 1 hour gap each. Anyway, its all over today. Phew!It’s all went well ,alright.

Let me describe a bit about my room that I have my precious ‘typewriter’ sitting at the corner, while having a ‘cigar’ as words flows like water into my scorn fingers. Idea…idea…idea.. (berangan macam famous writer.JK Rowling start tulis HP installment dekat coffee shop kat sini…so hahaha…allowed me)

It was red. As you walks in the first thing that captured your eyes will be the degree of redness of this room. I was supposed to bought an orange bed covers and duvet cover however, as an over qualified interior designer I have fails to associate the lighting of the room into my calculation. With rather dimmed yellow bulb. It’s have becoming more reddish that it’s supposed to look.

Surprisingly, I like it.

The most common question that I been asked so far will be, how’s life?Everythings ok overthere?Have you got enough? So my beloved, let me tell you that I am OK.I have settle down, my things are in the right order. There is a few bumps here an there. Minor one. But hey, that’s life.! No such things as smooth sailing all the way. I met with very kind and interesting people along the way. New friends, new family, new adorable little munchkins who insist on playing choo- choo trains before bedtime*smile*Little curios neighbors, bubbly bus driver and let me say all and all, everything is alright.

Truth be said, it is a little lonely being thousand of miles away from home. It has always been a dream to be here. Am happy about it but you know, as what people said, if I were given the Dorothy red slippers….Hello Kansas!!

I posted up a picture of a very nice walk the other day. That will be my daily 15 minutes walk to bus stop. Its green, its calming and its cold. Edinburgh is not named as the windy city for nothing. My daily ritual begin with this walk. To reached the bus stop I have to cross the beautiful Union Canal. Ducks are swimming. Seagull are flying and even sometimes the picturesque image of swan flying and landing smoothly on the water with a very minimal ripples created.Masya-Allah. The lorry with a big sign ‘Edinburgh is not an ashtray” will definitely passed by at least 1.All the ‘dog people’ will be out in the walk taking their little precious for a morning walk and “shi-shi” and “poo-poo” if you know what I mean*wink*

I have been dead boring several days before and still is. Being the geek that love book, I have been dying to grab at least one and start reading again. I am suppose to have at least one decent book to read as I already put it in my hand luggage however due to space constraint I heavy heartedly took it out and left it in the comfort of my warm and cozy bookshelf. I have beaten myself a few times already for not buying at least one book at the car boot sale the other week. How am I going there again? I can only depends on invitation from people that equipped with the ‘four wheel vehicles‘. I am as you should have known by now are car-less.

Today I have rather a light bukak puasa feast. I was only back by 5-ish and the couple is out to town and back home rather late as well.Bukak puasa is at 615.They have the fish and chips while I stick to my eastern cuisine, roti canai dengan kuah dal.Huhu.

Last weekend we went to bukak puasa organized in Edinburgh University. If I were given limited words to describe. Stunning old building. Beautifully preserved and crafted. The Old Moray House is eye catching. If you love old bricked unpainted building this is one of the many worth visiting. Exaggerate lagi la nie.Isk. Sila hakimi sendiri. Oh ya, I saw my favorite book on film the other day .The Unpainted House. Little Luke was far cute than I imagine.

I know my way to the city already. It is always North Bridge. Meat,chicken,brinjal,cabbage,kebab,it’s all there catered specifically for Moslem. I think I should go further away. Leave the North Bridge area for necessity errand and enjoy the other part of the city. Go to Ocean terminal,Leith Walk, Royal Garden or climb the Edinburgh castle. Go to where people do not know you. Go to where you are stranger. Go to where you can lost your self in the crowd.Chewah…melodrama la pulak.Yes I which to discover all this, to explore and to know this foreign land intimately. A little could I asked is for a buddy to went along but I guess Master here is for lonely people. Its singular in nature.

*Am telling myself to stop being such a wimp*

My new past time, is to read script. Script from good movies, philosophical, deep, moving two way conversational dogma that one have about life.

You know what? This is too much already. I better save some for my next posting. Cheerios!

P/s – I think I’m getting lighter. The morning brisk walk can do wonders you know..*wink*