Category Archives: Let’s talk domestic

Breakfast thot : of work, marriage, kids, education and life in general

I had a nice morning today. Waking up early, I sat at one of coffee shop delving myself into beans on toast and some good read. The topic of my interest is “paying to Learn” on the issues that private education can cause us a small fortune but is it worth it.

Is it really worth it? I flipped to the said article and my eyes quickly caught the bold phrase that says-Standard 1 education starts from RM13, 000 and Form 5 education costs RM16, 000 and that ‘s only for the national curriculum.

I felt that suddenly the idea of sending my future kid(s)to private school vanished into thin air. Can I afford it if I want to? What exactly I want to achieve sending them to this school? I feel my pocket thinning about this instance. People might say going to private school does not guarantee success, just like going to a public school does not mean failure. But if I am to put in into my perspective, academically I would try to look at the syllabus of private and public school and see if its enough to equipped my son(s) or daughter(s) with the skills needed.

Then I will look at the environment of the school, if reason being for you to send your kids to international school so he’ll be fluent in English, I bet you, you can get the same environment here in certain school in Klang Valley. You don’t need international school for that. I have seen my colleagues who packed up and moved to another part of Klang Valley so they are near to the best public school and can send their kids to these schools of choices.

Then the spiritual part of it, as a Moslem a good Islamic education is not something of an option. It is a must. It is something I would look into as part of child education.

But again, there are other alternative ways acquire a lot of things, be it skills, culture, spiritual needs or one’s self-confidence. There is no straight or fast rule to all this. Nothing fixed or constant. Decision will be made base on time, situation and financial. Given the rough calculation of inflation rates, Allah’s will, by the time I have kid and they are ready for school the cost tripled or quadruple and I might not have choice of a private education at all.

Then I flipped though the news paper and it is flooded with the story of political circus, the big brother denial of world problems, the killing, death, snatch, kidnapped, raped, the selfish. The truth is newspaper can be such a mood killer in the morning and should not be a daily reading material to those fainted heart.

Of the world today, and the life cost, have you every had this anxiety a the back of your mind that just may be, just maybe bringing a child into this world is a scary and tough business? In certain time lately I have been alternating a role of a sister and a mother for just a few occasion and it’s scared me, terribly. Worrying about you kids, what would happen is really a stressful business that I put my hat off to my mum and all other mum’s out there.

I remembered one of my friend used to say to me. There is a reason why “anak itu rezeki”, “ini rezeki anak” is said for century in our culture and by Muslim. Starting a family and having somebody that depends on you and look up to you is a very significant events in someone life. Yes the pain of delivery a baby to this world is unbearable, but looking at this small and tiny foot, and their eyes and to know that you are a mother /father now and that you have another soul to protect and care change and motivate a person significantly. It gave you reason to live. It gave you rezeki (blessing) in a form that you can’t find it in any other way.

And now, the one hundred dollar question,am I the maternal type or not? I encounter this question again and again, in the form of two  gorgeous kids?) , the two H

I do have friends who, despite being in stable relationships, have not yet been overwhelmed by the urge to procreate. They like other people’s kids, but don’t feel the need to have their own.

How would a man resist having a kid? It is already hard coded into our gene, I guess.

What about career then? I later stumble across another articles of a stay-at-home spouse. I have numbers of educated friends who decided to be a stay-at-home spouse, these is not uncommon these day. For some cases, many parents think about shelving their career, either temporarily or permanently especially of their kids yet to start school to nurture and taking care of their child early development as well as bonding and caring for them. Yes, they are risk to be managed and it is manageable if you carefully plan for it. But what really concern me is majority of people in our society have a certain double standard to those who brave enough to take the plunge.

The most common misconception are: –

 “rugi duit tanggung kamu belajar, last-last nak duduk rumah je jage anak?”

“perempuan yang tak kerje ni otak tak berkembang”

“malas nak susah kerje,sebab tu berhenti

I strongly disagree with such notions that unfortunately are how our society (even the mother’s) perceives such brave spouse.

I do not wish to elaborate more on this but would leave you(who ever you is) with an excerpt for another professional woman point of view (she’s later change her profession) to reflect

we (and by we, I mean men and women), always fall for the stereotypes in our verbal communication with regards to this topic: that if a woman is intelligent and has a mind of her own, she HAS to have a career. But in this day and age, I come across many women who don’t have a mind of her own, who is not in control of the path she has taken, who just so happened to end up having a job, because she studied in school, got a scholarship/loan, went to university, and had to get a job to service her financial commitments.

It’s boils down to choices you willing to make, your life priority, what make you happy and what really really worthwhile. Everything else is secondary.


So Called Domestic Talk

I have this on periodic basis. A sudden jolt of domesticity. I am trying hard to educate myself on property management and investment but at certain event I would rather feast my eyes on the pretty house interior than bother myself on the price.

I have paint a pretty details picture of house/apartment I am going to live in*dream on!* It does not have to be big, as long as it cozy enough for two or perhaps a little toddler. Once family grows, I’ll just find another place that suit the current family size and need.

My biggest dream is space. The place does not have to be big. A place of 800 sqf is good enough provided it is look spacious, airy and got enough natural light. I do not wish to switch on light during the day. Airy, open space with enough light coming into the place sans clutter. The last thing I want to be is a hoarder. With the concept of openness, I really into this articles from Apartment Therapy. Open kitchen shelves!

Here the tips from them:

  1. Cups, dishes and bowls look good / food looks bad = avoid open food storage
  2. It is important to edit down and organize your collection = only shelve what you love
  3. Allow everything to breathe visually = space between objects is important
  4. Plates (heavy) go on the bottom / glasses (light) go above
  5. A darker or colored background provides contrast and can highlight the style of your dishes
  6. A mirrored background will reflect a ton of light and open up a small space

Here how open shelves look in kitchen

staircase in kitchen ..why not!

I absolutely love this!