I do not know man so much. How they structure their thought or plan their life. Even what they do or see boggle me. I have lived with men. The matured, the growing man and the soon to be little man.
I have lived with man who is enigmatic. There are things that he don’t display or show but are affectionate all the same. That could be the first opposite traits that I recognize between genders. I was screaming for my Dad’s love and affection when the old man just being like any other men in the house. Distant, emotionally.
It’s always the love and hate situation in the house. But when I sick he’s the one that cradle and drive me to hospital. My old man didn’t talk much of love or feeling but I can seem to recognize it in his voice when he called my name. At times, I swear it was heavy with love and care.
Then, came the growing man. He was angry at the world all the time. Retreat himself in his own cave, or kingdom. What make him happy are only his friends. Our home was just a place to eat, shit and sleep (if I may put it so bluntly). This would be the second lesson I get from living with man. Man grows up slower than girls mentally (which was proven later scientifically). The idea of being thankful to their surrounding, or being the grown up to the younger ones are just fleeting of their mind. They have very minimal sense of acknowledgement or appreciation.
The soon to be little man is the fun one. Quite annoying at time and have no sense of what is right or wrong. The little man do what they do, and want what they want and do what they do to get what they one. At time the little man can be your friend and sometimes your nemesis. The little man like to do stuff on its own and being mega-secretive! I learn at this point to never push a man button when you don’t want to be crushed (e.g never stole his favorites robot for your masak masak session or you gonna get the consequences!)
The old man has left us. I’m still stuck with the growing man and the little man. To be fair, the growing man grows up to be a man. Patient and calm. The little man also grows up to be a man. Responsible and funny. Yeah they still have their moments of crazy “growing up” man and “little man” sometimes
And I still pretty much clueless about men.