All hell break loose

Vague and overflows of emotion, teamed with a fickly mind of mine; it’s a recipe for disaster.

I have a bit of a scared last few months when my body clock seem to become a little bit hay wired. I pondered on it, I read on it and I Google on it in free time. I ruled out stress but circled hormonal imbalance, thyroid, and worst some female type of diseases. I dread about a visit to gynea but at the back of my mind I strongly believe that the day will surely arrive.

Thinking the worst I wonder if the visit will uncover the ugliest of truth. Of anything that could make me left with being half a lady. I scared of what will it make me or what mean.

I’m being somewhat selfish today. I also have a seriously dangerous self-doubt lately. I literally shock my head a couple of time to ward it off but it just stuck there like been imprinted on my skull. I hate feeling of insecurity and self-doubt about matter of heart, marriage and future life.

Maybe just maybe I should lay low for a while and stop being such a pain.


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