We all know that in order to become a successful Moslem we must be able to be the very best in matter of “dunia” and “akhirat” This is a known fact that have been preach for generations. The lectures have been in the approach of not do this, not do that and do this, does that.
I was lucky to have received my education in an environment that values Islamic knowledge on everyday life, I was lucky to be born and grow up in kampong where learning to recite Al-Quran is a must for every kid. I was lucky that I was bless with a great “tok guru”. All and all, I received it in the form of regulation and norm during those days. It was a cocoon. As a kid, you learn to adhere to rules but hardly embracing the true meaning of the teaching.
As I grew older, my soul gets hungrier and restless. I am not in the cocoon anymore. It is an open world where things are not black and white as I know of. You develop as an adult emotionally and also physically. You have need and wants that are foreign to you and you are challenge in ways you never thought before. Things that you know by heart were not as easy to adhere to as before.
At this age, I find the method used by our society making it harder for me to learn. Imposing rules without explanation and judging people at a drop of hat make people shy away from the classes and sermon. Not to mention the idea of politicize the Islam and the whole shebang. Honestly, I have the basic knowledge that was nurture for almost 12 years but I find it hard to move past that and grow as a Moslem. I need something that helps me strengthen my faith. Something that makes my heart and my will stronger and allow myself to affirm my faith. I told myself, every single day to go back to the root of the teaching, to adhere to the pillars and to adopt the values. I believe in not punishing people base on their appearance of they way they carried themselves. I believe in accepting people. I believe in the needs to be better.
The truth is, I am as weak and as imperfect as the next human. I have my ups and down. I have my bad moments, and good one. I’ve done things that I wish I never did. I’ve done things I wish I keep doing. There is a saying that goes “If your good deeds please you and your bad deeds upset you, then you are a mukmin (believer)”
Salam maulidur rasul everyone!